Hats off to you my dear for making this bold move in this day and age. I don't think I would opt for this lifestyle however, if I am put into it I know I would also love it and find ways to live with the small inconveniences... I think as humans we thrive in any lifestyle if we look at it as always to our benefit. Nothing is a problem if we don't see it as one. Thanks again for sharing. Loved it!
On the subject of socialising happening in the home, I hosted a women and kids dance party last weekend. Completely inspired by you, the queen of in-home family entertainment. Your legacy makes the middle of nowhere, in another hemispher, more fun for everyone ❤️
Another positive is the very dark skies which I love. Had to leave living in the countryside and now live halfway between a busy town with library, library cinema, bookshop, market, very nice pub and lots of community events, 10 minute walk to the train and beautiful canal, park and riverside walks. I’m a bit older now than when I lived in the middle of nowhere and had the opportunity to return but in the end, although I’m not too sociable and live alone, I do enjoy the convenience of being part of a small market town community and walking to get everything I need . Have to admit though, I currently have lovely neighbours and am not plagued by 24 hour barking dogs or arguing couples. Love your piece, it sounds a fantastic place to be and bet the skies are amazing (in town I do miss skies 😂)
Oh yes! That's a great addition to the list. The stars are incredible on a clear night.
It sounds like you have a perfect balance. I'd love a little library and a cinema... What with living in a foreign country and the pandemic and having one baby and then another it's been over 4 years since I last went to the cinema. I really miss it!
I’m always inspired by people with young kids making a move like that! I sometimes wish to reach a decision like that too! Just so I could feel it first hand 😅 also, wow at your skills on living it truly! MashaAllah.
The moving with kids is so not fun!! It's full of personal growth and stuff but... wow. And I've moved enough times that I should remember, it takes months and months to feel even slightly at home somewhere but I always seem to forget.... 🙈
As a stranger that you've never met but Inspired you to write a story- I feel very proud, like a muse. :D I have already shared with you, and now I will say it again- it's one thing to change a street, a town, a country but another thing to change a lifestyle like you did. As I believe change is always great for you, since it puts you outside your comfort zone and widens your horizons, I compliment you for your bold choice. I, on the other hand, haven't been brave enough to do this kind of choice, yet.
Even though I dream of it since I was a child.
I think I am scared of loneliness and limited-view mentality that is always present in small isolated areas.
As for the loneliness, even Latins used to say - Magna cita, magna solitudo (the larger the city, the bigger the loneliness in my own, free translation) so I might be wrong about this one.
Mmmm, I love that phrase. That feels very true to me. The lonely times I experienced in London were the most profoundly lonely I've known.
An unsolicited word of advice to anyone who might be reading this. Never stay alone in London over the Christmas/New Year week unless you want to face the darkest depths of your being. It's horrendous! 😂
Nature and quiet are huge pluses, but too much quiet and lack of people also unsettles me. My biggest concern would be the lack of diversity that often comes with small towns and the hostility that can come when you are the diversity.
Yes! Thanks for sharing this. This was one of my biggest worries actually. I was genuinely concerned about being the "only muslims in the village". In the first week or so after we arrived, a meal of Wild Boar Marinated in Red Wine was prepared for the families at the school's summer camp. It couldn't get more local - both the wine and the boar came from the family's own land - which is fantastic, but it also couldn't get less halal 😂 and there was a moment of feeling like such an outsider. I quickly shake it off though, reminding myself I'm no more an outsider than a vegetarian.
Funnily enough, a few weeks later, we were at one of the very few coffee shops nearby and we met a young Moroccan woman who has lived in this area, in the middle of nowhere, her whole life. She's 18 and her family has been here for decades. It really surprised us.
I've also found that, while there is plenty of ignorance, people are not initially hostile, certainly not overtly. There was one woman who recently suggested that we could drink together when my brother and husband go away which was very revealing of her assumptions of Muslim women. I felt small after that comment, but I also recognise she wasn't trying to do harm. I believe, over time, she'll learn a lot about muslim women that she could only have learned by being directly exposed to one. Shocking revelations like how some of us avoid alcohol of our own accord!
I have so many thoughts on that last story you shared. It’s an assumption your neighbor made, but also a microaggression in that it made you feel “small.” Likely unintentional but that’s how they work right? You’re hurt and the other person is oblivious. It’s why I’ve become more guarded with certain people, mainly white. To avoid the potential harm.
Yes, I've wondered about that a lot because it did hurt me. If I look at it from "the outside" there are all sorts of dynamics at play that mean we're not on an even footing. She's at home, I'm a foreigner. She's the majority, I'm a minority etc. etc. But if I try to zoom further in, just to the human level, I wonder. Maybe (being quite drunk at the time) she felt judged when I said I don't drink. It wasn't my intention but maybe she felt that. Maybe she has felt restricted or squashed by men in her life and was looking for solidarity in another woman and instead I made it about my own insecurities about how I'm perceived. Maybe it was clear that I was upset and she wasn't oblivious at all but didn't know how to come back from it.
Having said that, I also think it's completely necessary and justified to be selective about the company we keep and to surround ourselves with the people who encourage and elevate us. Our minutes and hours are precious
Yes that is true too. It’s never just one thing. Always interesting to consider other angles and the deeper layers. I also believe in giving people time until it becomes obvious or just too much emotionally.
Hats off to you my dear for making this bold move in this day and age. I don't think I would opt for this lifestyle however, if I am put into it I know I would also love it and find ways to live with the small inconveniences... I think as humans we thrive in any lifestyle if we look at it as always to our benefit. Nothing is a problem if we don't see it as one. Thanks again for sharing. Loved it!
On the subject of socialising happening in the home, I hosted a women and kids dance party last weekend. Completely inspired by you, the queen of in-home family entertainment. Your legacy makes the middle of nowhere, in another hemispher, more fun for everyone ❤️
Aah.. you're sweet! It's a selfish act.. I do it for myself😉
Well done! You can continue the legacy😅🤩
Another positive is the very dark skies which I love. Had to leave living in the countryside and now live halfway between a busy town with library, library cinema, bookshop, market, very nice pub and lots of community events, 10 minute walk to the train and beautiful canal, park and riverside walks. I’m a bit older now than when I lived in the middle of nowhere and had the opportunity to return but in the end, although I’m not too sociable and live alone, I do enjoy the convenience of being part of a small market town community and walking to get everything I need . Have to admit though, I currently have lovely neighbours and am not plagued by 24 hour barking dogs or arguing couples. Love your piece, it sounds a fantastic place to be and bet the skies are amazing (in town I do miss skies 😂)
Oh yes! That's a great addition to the list. The stars are incredible on a clear night.
It sounds like you have a perfect balance. I'd love a little library and a cinema... What with living in a foreign country and the pandemic and having one baby and then another it's been over 4 years since I last went to the cinema. I really miss it!
I’m always inspired by people with young kids making a move like that! I sometimes wish to reach a decision like that too! Just so I could feel it first hand 😅 also, wow at your skills on living it truly! MashaAllah.
The moving with kids is so not fun!! It's full of personal growth and stuff but... wow. And I've moved enough times that I should remember, it takes months and months to feel even slightly at home somewhere but I always seem to forget.... 🙈
As a stranger that you've never met but Inspired you to write a story- I feel very proud, like a muse. :D I have already shared with you, and now I will say it again- it's one thing to change a street, a town, a country but another thing to change a lifestyle like you did. As I believe change is always great for you, since it puts you outside your comfort zone and widens your horizons, I compliment you for your bold choice. I, on the other hand, haven't been brave enough to do this kind of choice, yet.
Even though I dream of it since I was a child.
I think I am scared of loneliness and limited-view mentality that is always present in small isolated areas.
As for the loneliness, even Latins used to say - Magna cita, magna solitudo (the larger the city, the bigger the loneliness in my own, free translation) so I might be wrong about this one.
Mmmm, I love that phrase. That feels very true to me. The lonely times I experienced in London were the most profoundly lonely I've known.
An unsolicited word of advice to anyone who might be reading this. Never stay alone in London over the Christmas/New Year week unless you want to face the darkest depths of your being. It's horrendous! 😂
Your place in the middle of nowhere sounds wonderful! Space. Vegetation. Skies. Nature. Peace. I'd choose this over any city any day ♥️
Nature and quiet are huge pluses, but too much quiet and lack of people also unsettles me. My biggest concern would be the lack of diversity that often comes with small towns and the hostility that can come when you are the diversity.
Yes! Thanks for sharing this. This was one of my biggest worries actually. I was genuinely concerned about being the "only muslims in the village". In the first week or so after we arrived, a meal of Wild Boar Marinated in Red Wine was prepared for the families at the school's summer camp. It couldn't get more local - both the wine and the boar came from the family's own land - which is fantastic, but it also couldn't get less halal 😂 and there was a moment of feeling like such an outsider. I quickly shake it off though, reminding myself I'm no more an outsider than a vegetarian.
Funnily enough, a few weeks later, we were at one of the very few coffee shops nearby and we met a young Moroccan woman who has lived in this area, in the middle of nowhere, her whole life. She's 18 and her family has been here for decades. It really surprised us.
I've also found that, while there is plenty of ignorance, people are not initially hostile, certainly not overtly. There was one woman who recently suggested that we could drink together when my brother and husband go away which was very revealing of her assumptions of Muslim women. I felt small after that comment, but I also recognise she wasn't trying to do harm. I believe, over time, she'll learn a lot about muslim women that she could only have learned by being directly exposed to one. Shocking revelations like how some of us avoid alcohol of our own accord!
I have so many thoughts on that last story you shared. It’s an assumption your neighbor made, but also a microaggression in that it made you feel “small.” Likely unintentional but that’s how they work right? You’re hurt and the other person is oblivious. It’s why I’ve become more guarded with certain people, mainly white. To avoid the potential harm.
Yes, I've wondered about that a lot because it did hurt me. If I look at it from "the outside" there are all sorts of dynamics at play that mean we're not on an even footing. She's at home, I'm a foreigner. She's the majority, I'm a minority etc. etc. But if I try to zoom further in, just to the human level, I wonder. Maybe (being quite drunk at the time) she felt judged when I said I don't drink. It wasn't my intention but maybe she felt that. Maybe she has felt restricted or squashed by men in her life and was looking for solidarity in another woman and instead I made it about my own insecurities about how I'm perceived. Maybe it was clear that I was upset and she wasn't oblivious at all but didn't know how to come back from it.
Having said that, I also think it's completely necessary and justified to be selective about the company we keep and to surround ourselves with the people who encourage and elevate us. Our minutes and hours are precious
Yes that is true too. It’s never just one thing. Always interesting to consider other angles and the deeper layers. I also believe in giving people time until it becomes obvious or just too much emotionally.