Oh, The Places You'll Sleep

The full run-down of the thirty-two places I slept with my children in the last nine months.

In my first post here I casually dropped the shocking number of places that I’ve slept in over the past few months. I mentioned it by the way, as if it didn’t take me fifteen minutes, and then further additional notes to keep track of it all.

Having finally found a place to stay for a whole year, at least, I thought it might be a good time to take you through the full list.

I started my journey in Cape Town, in a house named The Old Brewery, where I’d been living for the year prior. Let’s call that number 1.

1. The Old Brewery, Cape Town

I landed in Rome, at the end of November with my mother and children. We met my husband who had an Airbnb booked for two weeks. Looking back, I don’t know what we thought we were going to get sorted out in two weeks, with two small children, while recovering from an international flight (also with two small children). It was delusional.

The apartment was a great location for a young couple to explore Rome from, but we’re an aging couple with (did I mention?) two small children. We also had a literal grandmother with us and a sickly grandfather joined us after a few days too. At least it was a nice enough place for him to lie in bed and recover. Anyway, that’s number 2.

2. Airbnb, San Giovanni, Rome

We ended up extending our stay at 2, but the host eventually had another guest arriving so we moved to

3. Airbnb, Aurelia, Rome

We moved with all our worldly possessions, which included two buggies, two car seats, and suitcases, suitcases, suitcases. My mum’s big case, my mum’s carry-on. My dad’s big suitcase, my dad’s carry-on. Do you know what a pain it is to find a taxi the size of a moving van?

By the look of things I’m still finding this adventurous and fun at this stage

The Airbnb was spacious (but filled with suitcases). The hard floors were freezing and my baby was at prime ‘roll-on-the-floor’ age. Thank God the ratio was four adults to two children so we could just about manage to get ourselves fed. We also put all non-essential things into a storage facility at this point.

The holiday period was fast approaching and there were very few options for places to stay. We found a long-term rental that we liked, opposite a fruit and veg store and down the road from a lovely school but offices were slowing down and there was no way we’d close on a contract before we needed to leave the Airbnb. Which is how we ended up at

4. Cheap & Chic Apartment, Magliana, Rome.

Let me tell you, it was neither cheap nor chic. It was the only available non-extortionate place in the whole of Rome that could fit us. The door opened straight onto a busy road with no pavement. It was on a steep hill. The interior was meh. The bathrooms were icky. The whole place was run down. I’m scratching around in my mind for any redeeming features. The living room was spacious enough for us all to sit in despair together is the best I can come up with. That’s where we were sitting when we found out the landlord of the flat we liked chose to rent to another family.

My daughter’s artistic framing of the sitting room of despair

I left number 4 a few days early because I was lucky enough to have somewhere else to go; a bilingual storytelling gathering to end the year. So that’s what took me to

5. The Convent of Farfa, Fara in Sabina

I packed my children into the car with the help of my youngest sister and off we went. Thank heavens my sister has a nun obsession because, joining us for a week at place 4, her Rome trip hadn’t exactly been dreamy… The hilltop abbey was a breath of fresh air for both of us.

With an unsettled toddler plus babe-in-arms, I couldn’t participate in the event as much as I’d have liked, but the opportunity to be there at all, with two small children in tow, was a dream come true. Stories are potent medicine and all it took was one or two to start working through me to really shift the course of our Roman adventure. In particular, a story about a lobster, told by the magnificent Paola Balbi.

We had booked an Airbnb for the entire month of January at a reasonable rate. For the one homeless night in between my mother splashed out on a very comfortable hotel. For New Years Eve we slept at

6. Marriott, Magliana, Rome.

The night I spent there is a whole story on its own. Our January Airbnb got cancelled a few hours after we checked in. I spent the first half of the night on the phone with Airbnb and the second half being woken up by drunk partygoers. As the new year dawned, I knew for certain: I could no longer support the vision of life in Rome and I had an inkling of where I might like to head instead.

But like I said, that’s a story on its own.

For now, let me emphasise, THE JANUARY AIRBNB GOT CANCELLED ON NEW YEARS EVE. Thankfully that meant an instant refund. Unthankfully, banks can take 3-5 business days to process said refund, and of course, 1 Jan is not a business day. We had no roof, no money, no plan.

Airbnb put us up at another property for two days to see if the refund would come through by then. That was

7. Airbnb, Roma Centrale.

When the refund came through we found another place for a month and made a booking request. To our utter despair, the host with the impeccable response rate didn’t reply. What are the chances? Thankfully, that meant an automatic refund. Unthankfully…. you remember how it goes.

Our minds needed a moment to catch up with the chaos and we bought some time by booking two nights at

8. Belstay, Roma Aurelia

I was feeling more and more strongly that all roads lead AWAY from Rome and by this time three different locals had told us they prefer to live in Ostia, on the coast. One of them, the magnificent Paola (who told a story about a lobster) had even kindly offered us her place if we got desperate.

We had.

So we headed slightly away from Rome, to the coast.

9. Paola’s Place, Ostia

The locals know what they’re talking about. Ostia is an easy commute. The rent is significantly lower and there is a horizon. I’m generally more of a mountain person than an ocean person but that ocean was balm for my soul.

10. The Blue House, Ostia

Once the second Airbnb refund was processed, we found The Blue House. It was a longer-term Airbnb in Ostia. We’d decided to start looking for a more permanent rental in the area.

Ostia was pretty nice. The apartment had an ocean view and the place had a nice seaside vibe.

But by this time I had realised that there was a deeper mismatch between what Rome as a city could offer us and what we, as a family, wanted. I was feeling pretty burned out too.

We were heading to a gathering in Paris for a weekend and I decided I wouldn’t return to Rome unless something shifted dramatically. Paris was place 11.

11. Best Western, Versaille (which is actually in Buc) is where we stayed.

I was going pretty crazy by this point. See below.

and my daughter Nabila was giving “living out of a suitcase” a whole new meaning

So from Rome, to Paris, to London. I went to stay at my sister’s.

12. Zaynab’s House, London SW16

I stayed with Zaynab for a long time. Me and my two kids - on two mattresses on the floor. Her boy - displaced from his room. It was crammed. It was chaotic. It was cold. London in January is not a fun place. I remember this. On the other hand, cousins together are a joy to witness.

My time in the UK also included a night at

13. Premier Inn, Welwyn Garden City and

14. Travelodge, Welwyn Garden City (does it count if we got evacuated for a fire and couldn’t get back in until the next morning?)

This is not a drill….

Instead, my aunt drove around to borrow a couple of foam mattresses and we slept in her front room making that 14b? Or 15? I’m going with 15.

15. Khan Residence, Welwyn Garden City

In mid-February, I decided to go and visit a school I had discovered online during the eventful hotel night on New Year’s Eve. I left Nabila with my parents and flew alone with the baby, Ayyub, to meet my husband, Muhammad, in Turin. We stayed in the accommodation that his work had provided for him.

16. B&B near Turin Airport

Then I flew home, returning to Zaynab’s (12) while he carried on to his next shift. After that 24-hour trip I was convinced I could make Italy work if it included that area and that school.

And if I was going to end up in Italy, I figured it was better to get there sooner rather than later. Muhammad mirrored my 24-hour flight and flew to London for one night to help me travel back to Italy with the children. When we arrived back we stayed at

17. Airbnb, Padenghe sul Garda

Then he went straight to a 12-hour day shift while the children and I tried to entertain ourselves in the fog in Padenghe sul Garda.

There is an airbnb that I don’t remember. I don’t remember why we moved there. I think it fits in here at 18. It was close to Peschiera del Garda. It was just one night.

18. Somehwere near Peschiera del Garda

Then we moved to an uninhabited, poorly-equipped place in Desenzano del Garda. A friend of Muhammad’s has a place that he moved away from and only uses once or twice a month. By this point Nabila was asking “what shall we call this place?” when we arrived somewhere new, so we called this place

19. The One with the Red Chair, Desenzano del Garda.

Muhammad finished his stretch of shifts and remaining in Italy alone in the winter with no place to go felt unbearable. His parents hadn’t met Ayyub and the rest of his family hadn’t even met Nabila so we headed to them for a few weeks and were fed and cared for and offered company and given a roof over our heads. On the way there we spent a night at

20. Best Western, Milan Malpensa Airport

making Kabul village the twenty-first place we’d slept.

21. Muhammad’s Parents, Kabul, Israel

When I say we got fed, I mean it

On the way back we spent a night at

22. Novotel, Milan Malpensa Airport

Then I think we returned to 19 for a day or two. We were back and forth from 19 a lot. I lose track.

We spent one night in Erba at

23. Da Vinci Hotel, Erba

because Muhammad had a shift there. It was a delightful surprise to find a slide, a hill, and some rabbits and chickens tucked in the corner beside the hotel’s car park.

We then spent a week on Lake Como at

24. Kiki B&B, Gravedona ed Uniti

where Muhammad was working for a week. It was a small one-bedroom apartment and because of that the balcony, living room, bathroom and kitchen were all pretty much one. It made life a little easier. I could wash dishes while one child was eating a snack and the other was outside watching the world from the balcony. Lake Como was a 5-minute walk in one direction and a decent supermarket was a 5-minute walk in the other. Plus, it was finally Spring. To be outside was a joy and though we were on the first floor I could keep the pushchair downstairs. These practicalities matter. I often managed to get myself and the kids out of the house twice a day!

Lake, Mountain, Playground. What more can you ask for?

When the shifts in Gravedona were over we had our first experience of literally nowhere to go.

We extended at 24 one more night. 19 wasn’t available. Funds were slim.

Our closest friends, geographically, were in Switzerland. We had enough money for the return train fare and a full tank of petrol. We didn’t have enough money to get our car out of the station car park once we returned but Muhammad was expecting a payment to reflect in a matter of days, so off we went to spend the weekend at

25.Sumiyya & Hanif, Switzerland

Plot twist: the payment never came through but I have siblings with Revolut accounts and we got the car out.

We drove back to 19 for a bit and then onwards to

26. Airbnb, Sondalo

Once again Muhammad had a stretch of shifts so we drove up North to the mountains through winding travel-sickness-inducing roads. Spring disappeared. Central heating was necessary. The mountains were snow-capped and the wind was icy.

It was Ramadan. Still breastfeeding, I fasted some days. Muhammad fasted every day. We were lonely. The playgrounds were beautiful.

We didn’t want to follow a lonely Ramadan with a lonely Eid. A well-timed trade conference meant friends from Austria were around and friends from France drove to join us too. We had a wonderful week on Lake Maggiore, eating during the day and wolfing down the conversation of like-minded company - another form of sustenance that we had been starved of for a while.

27. Airbnb, Lago Maggiore

From there we finally headed to Piedmont, the region we hoped to end up in. We had found a potential home in the area, but we knew it wouldn’t be available until early July. Now we were killing time.

28. Airbnb, Masio

We found a longer-term Airbnb in a small village called Masio. It was a good price, available for a long period and near enough to Asti where Muhammad was working.

There were plenty of practical difficulties in this house. It would work well for sleeping and touring the surrounding area. It did not work well for parenting and feeding toddlers. It was dark. The church bell opposite rang at all hours. I couldn’t see the kids from the kitchen and they couldn’t fit in the kitchen with me. It wasn’t a fun time.

Despite indoor challenges, the view from the church square outside was spectacular

When Muhammad had to travel I knew there was no way I could stay in Masio alone. Everybody has their limit. I had reached mine. I called my parents, who happened to be in Germany, and I travelled there to meet them at

29. Alima and Ishaq’s Farm, Beelitz, Germany

The combination of horses, grandparents and a friend her age was a winning combination for Nabila.

We stayed for a week and then returned to the challenges of Masio (and wider Italy which was experiencing devastating floods).

When the day came to pack up and leave Masio, I was happy.

This is what happy looks like

We spent a few nights at a hotel in Carmagnola while Muhammad worked at the hospital there.

30. Hotel, Carmagnola

The last of the kind of bleak hotel room play sessions

Then we headed back to Zaynab’s House (12) for the month of June. It was different this time. It was summer. Her lodgers had moved out and we had a room of our own. Her kids stayed in their own beds. The cousins together were still a joy but we each had somewhere to retreat to when the laughter inevitably turned to tears.

Joy, fun, cousins in the sun

Ayyub turned one on 5th June. In his first year of life he had slept in thirty places, across six countries and three continents.

I made a cake.

We attended a family reunion and a second cousin’s birthday party that required an overnight stay. For my sister and her children that was an exciting novelty. For me and mine, it was place 31…

31. Premier Inn - Heathrow Terminal 5

And then the day finally came. On 3rd July, 2023 we flew back to Italy and arrived at

32. Our House, Rosingo.

I’d like to say that’s where we have been ever since, but last week we returned to 21 for a family wedding that had been scheduled for a year but we’re back. This is it now. I’m ready to put down some tiny little roots and see how we grow.

So that’s what I did for the last nine months. Stay tuned for more about why I would ever choose to do that and how I managed it.

In stillness and gratitude,

A Woman Who Wanders