Wandering Roots - November 2024
Mothers, sex and the chance to win a luxury weekend worth €5000
Welcome to Wandering Roots, a monthly newsletter from me, A Woman Who Wanders.
After buying a house at the beginning of June, I had a slight wobble regarding my identity (online and otherwise.)
Am I still a woman who wanders? I asked, and it turns out that I am, but I am also, now, a woman who roots. This newsletter will offer updates on my progress, as I marry my wandering and rooting together.
You can expect to read about:
The ongoing journey of adjusting to life in rural Italy (learning the language, adapting to the culture)
The renovation of my Italian house
Mothering abroad (and in general)
Learning how to grow plants (lots of them edible, I hope)
How I’m figuring out a makeshift career while I don’t have a strong proficiency in the language that surrounds me
Plus recommendations for things I’m enjoying, in Italy, and online.
I’m Alive…
Did November nearly kill you? My oh my, it was quite a month for me.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on the choices I’ve made. I’ve been re-assessing my priorities. I’ve been trying new ways. Things are often so much simpler than we allow them to be.
I’ve been firmly rooted here. I’ve been wanting to run away, but no. My kids got sick in November. Then my husband. Then me. I’ve been housebound most of the month, and so, my wandering has been inward. I have been wondering and questioning and I have moved closer to some answers.
Keep warm. Do the invisible work. Welcome joy. Move your body. Love your family. Hold them with both hands.
Also, music. That’s an answer on its own.
Mothering and The Sexual Revolution
Mothering has been on my mind while I was slowly stripped of the energy for any other pursuit. While reflecting on the way that modern society pits mothers against their children I came across this article on Substack:
It’s conclusion expresses something of the same sentiment, but from a completely different perspective. It’s worth a read.
Do You Like Women Who Say Outrageous Things?
From there I’ve been on a bit of a Louise Perry binge. I hadn’t heard of her, or her book The Case Against the Sexual Revolution before but I’ve now listened to a fair few episodes of her podcast, Maiden Mother Matriarch.
After putting my 2-year-old in daycare and then taking him out again three weeks later, it was refreshing and affirming to listen to an episode of the podcast in which her guest, an author and psychoanalyst, makes the case that group-care settings are the worst of the available childcare solutions for children under 3 years old.
I’ve then continued to listen to women saying outrageous things that nobody wants to hear. Things with threads of truth that might be worth picking up and examining, if we dare… Like this podcast episode, from a working woman, that questions whether women should work:
And while I’m sharing, I highly recommend this excellent free class on revillaging, which invites us to really submit to the reality of where we are right now as a collective, and the grief that goes hand in hand with that, in order to move forward. Click here to watch.
3 Tracks That Saved My Life in November (Plus a Bonus Track for My Little Boy)
I mentioned above that the answer to one of my existential questions in the last month was simply “music” and here are some of the tracks that led me there.
1. Mast Qalandar
We took a drive to Turin one Friday a couple of weeks ago. We attended the Jumua prayer at a mosque in the city and then went to an Indian restaurant. It felt as if the food entered the very genetic centre of my cells. It was blissful. As I ate, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan wailed in the background and when nobody was looking I closed my eyes and swayed gently in my chair.
2. Bazokhuluma
There’s something special about listening to a track with lyrics I don’t understand. The vocal transmits something separate from the words and, when my mind is not distracted with literal meanings, it hits deeper. That has been my experience while listening to this track, Bazokhuluma. I don’t know what these voices are saying but I find them deeply uplifting.
(To my Zulu friends - if they’re singing nonsense please just leave me in my blissful ignorance!)
3. Button on Brown
My 2-year-old only sleeps in the car. Many parents will know this story… This instrumental track offers the BEST assistance. We get in the car and I play a few “children’s songs” as he calls them and then I hit him with this. It rarely fails.
Speaking of my 2-year-old, he has a new favourite track. It’s Heal The World by Michael Jackson. The only problem is, he has given it is own name. He calls it People Dying. He currently asks multiple times a day if he can “listen to people dying”. It’s a bit disconcerting.
A Weekend of Luxury in the Italian Alps for €5?
Lastly, I want to let you know about some great prizes that are available as part of my daughter’s school raffle this week. Her school is a fantasy dream project that somehow manages to stay open year after year despite the fact that the fees don’t cover the running costs.
(This is largely due to the fact that 60% of the families have individualised tuition, which is so important to keep the school accessible, especially to local families. )
For €5 you have the chance to win:
a weekend worth €5000 at Baita 1697 - an incredible luxury chalet in the Italian alps
a weekend at this beautiful airbnb ( also in the mountains)
a romantic evening in a yurt, with dinner and breakfast included at the beautiful Crealto
a free week at Village Forest School’s bilingual summer camp
a pair of tickets to see Ludovico Einaudi (yes, that Ludovico Einaudi) during his 2025 tour
Each ticket is €5 and you can buy as many tickets as you want. Click the link below to make a donation, then email info@villageforestschool.com for your tickets (or send me a message).
Winners will be drawn on at the winter fair on Saturday 14th December (where I will also be singing ‘People Dying’ with some other mums as part of the choir performance.) Wish me luck...
And good luck to you all of you. I hope you win.
Keep wandering, my friends, in body, heart or mind.
Rahma x
Loved reading your news Rahma!
Happy to help support the Village too 💞
Your music taste is in point, I love Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan! (And thanks for recommending Button in Brown I’ll check it out).